Gainer Stories

a member of the Gainer House family of sites


The earliest I can recall having an admiration for bellies and big fat men dates back to when I was five or six years old. I remember ogling at the giant belly of a friend's father. I'm not sure what specifically drew me to his shape. I recall one night in particular, when I was eight years old, not being able to fall asleep because I was too sexually aroused from thinking about his dad's big ball belly. Furthermore, not only was I thinking about his belly, but also about being a big fat man one day too. Like many other gainers, I would also pad myself. I remember repeatedly stuffing my pajamas with my stuffed animals and pillows and walk around the house parading my new and pleasurable shape.

That brings me to discovering gaining, which didn't happen until about fifteen years later when I was twenty-three. The fantasies of becoming fat were somehow buried deep within me for these years. I don't know whether I repressed them, or unintentionally forgot about it all. I got back in contact with my gainer side from porn; who would have thought? Throughout my teens, I noticed that the men I grew attracted to were always bearlike and thick. It seemed as though I was growing an appreciation for bigger and bigger bellies. It wasn't until I was twenty-three that I took a long shot and searched for men's bellies on youtube. I was so shocked at what I found; I felt like I had won the lottery. I was pretty much hooked after that.

I noticed that as I watched these belly videos, I began to want to have a big ball belly of my own. I began playing with my belly when I would masturbate, it felt like I had an instinctive draw to it. As soon as I started gaining weight I noticed that I wanted to grow it bigger and bigger. I found that as my belly grew, the more sensitive to the touch it became. So much so, that rubbing my belly when masturbating gave me one of the most, if not the most, pleasurable feelings I have ever discovered.

Today I continue to indulge myself in the sexual pleasures of gaining. I've gained fifty pounds within the past two years, mostly fat. The journey has proven to be a much needed one, in that it tremendously helped me make sense of myself. However, recognizing this side of myself was in no way a cake walk. First, I will preface this by saying that I grew up in an extremely looks-conscious household. My parents really are the most vain people I have ever met. This upbringing led me to be very insecure with my body and I would constantly modify myself so that I would have others' approval. I always felt ugly being the twig that I was, despite being considered good looking by society's standards. I constantly would look in the mirror and feel ashamed of my body, thinking that I looked like a weak peon. It wasn't until I started gaining weight that I began to actually like my body. The bigger and thicker I got, the sexier I felt. Those around me even began telling me how I seem much more comfortable in my own skin.

Although gaining has proven to be mostly a pleasurable experience, I sometimes find that it can be quite distressing. Uncomfortable feelings arise when I think about it becoming a potential health hazard. As I approach a BMI of 30, I am trying to gain more healthily. Knowing that I'm eating as healthily as I can makes me feel less worried about packing on the pounds.

Another concern about gaining comes from a financial point of view. Not only is gaining expensive, but I also think that it could be a hindrance in the job world. I currently serve tables, and most likely will be doing so until my degree is done, hopefully. The years have taught me that the restaurant/bar/club world is an almost entirely superficial one, and one where looks count. I fear the amount of opportunity that I have now, being traditionally handsome, will dry up once I get chubbier.

My final concern about gaining deals with how those around me will react. I've found that the comments I get from those around me can rub me either way. I feel like a sexy beast when people call me big guy, yet I find myself sucking in my stomach sometimes when I go out. I've found that when I'm out in public, I try to suck my gut in so people won't notice how fat I've gotten. Episodes like this are common, especially when seeing a friend or family member that I haven't seen in quite some time.

After gaining actively for a year, I decided to start branching out and immersing myself in the gaining world. Since discovering grommr, I've had a fun time getting to know guys from across the world who are also into this sort of thing. Nothing but good has come out of posting a profile on the site. It's very reassuring, to know that there are others out there like me, especially when living in a small town like I currently do. There are a handful of guys on the site that are in my area, I've chatted with some and have met up with one so far. It was initially amazing meeting him; it felt great to meet face to face with someone so close who was also into gaining. Unfortunately, after a about a month of meeting up and pigging out our relationship grew stale. Our connection was solely gaining-based, and we had very little else in common. Sure, this would have been fine if we were both looking for a fuck buddy, but we weren't. After suppressing my desires and trying to date guys who were not into the gaining scene, I've come to believe that in order for me to have a truly fulfilling relationship with someone, he must also be into gaining. A relationship without gaining, one devoid of all the pleasures that arise from having a mutual appreciation, I think would be significantly missing something.

My goals with gaining can change by the week, all depending on my outlook. Sometimes I can be really into it and want to get huge, stuffing myself all day, and other times my apprehension will get the better of me and I'll just maintain. It's almost like I'm at war with gaining. Sometimes I think I should give into its pleasure and live a happy life, and other times I think I should suppress my desires and live a more healthy and convenient one. My experiences with gaining and trying to burry it have taught me that this is a crucial aspect of my being and it's not something I can simply ignore.

With all the pleasures and drawbacks that come along with gaining, I now find myself trying to take it day by day and enjoy it. If I'm not really feeling it, I try not to be hard on myself for not keeping up. However, if the thought of growing is enticing me, I will unabashedly head for the fridge. In fact, that doesn't really seem like that bad of an idea, looks like I'm going to do just that!